5 Things I’ll Miss About My Grandma

07 August 2018

Who would have thought that this day would come up so unforgettable and tragic? My grandmother, my Mommya has joined the Lord at 84. 


“Grief  is the last act of love we have to give to those we love. Where there is deep grief, there was great love.” -Anonymous


*Mommya is what I call my grandmother. It is a combination of Mommy and Lola (which means grandma). While I couldn’t pronounce Mommyla, I brought up the term, “Mommya” till now.

5. MOTHER. Thinking that my Mommya came from a wealthy family in Bohol, I honor her sacrifices in raising the family. She had gone through a needle before she set everything in place. She had raised a teacher, a doctor and an engineer 🙂 She had been a hands-on mother and had always been there for her children. She was even called ‘Mother of Perpetual Help’ for not giving up – she was misunderstood at times but after all, a mother’s love like her needed no explanation. 

Mommya is not related to us by blood. My grandparents adopted my Mom when she was born. Mommya particularly, dreamed about a child hanging on a tree. When she couldn’t conceive, my Mom’s coming was a blessing. My Mom was the child on the tree and my grandparents were her home. While I should feel insecure about this reality, I never had the chance to feel strange because they have treated us as their very own. I couldn’t ask any other family than them, we are so much loved. 


4. LECHON. Ever since, my birthday has never been complete without my Mommya throwing out a Lechon. It has always been a family tradition and being the first baby of the family, Mommya made it sure to make my every birthday a big deal. I also used to be an honor student and every time I got the year end award, I would always see her there, being proud of me and handing me an envelope of five hundred pesos with a handwritten letter.

While I grew older, the Lechon or the cash in itself didn’t matter anymore. The thought of my grandmother being so thoughtful struck me deeper. The thought that she gave me an importance through giving gifts made me feel special all these years. 

Screen Shot 2018-08-07 at 6.21.12 PM

3. SPOILER. It is a little trivial that up until my early college years, I couldn’t sleep without someone scratching my back. I could sleep with a scratch on my back and a caress on my hair; well, Mommya started it. While I was her first grandchild, I would remember my self on bed next to her, my back scratched. I always had a very sound sleep.


2. GRANDMOTHER. I was always beaten by my dad because I had always been a naughty kid. I was around six when I did a terrible thing, my dad had to beat me for it. Mommya interfered in hopes that I would be spared from the pricking broomsticks. (But Papa beat Mommya as well that Mommya had to leave and let him execute his disciplinary action). When I was 15, I was also sent out from home because of an ex-boyfriend that my dad did not approve. I went to my Mommya’s house for shelter. 


1. HOME. Last week, I was feeling heavy and stressed for reasons I couldn’t explain. I wanted to go home. In time with my Dad’s death anniversary, I dreamed about Mommya. In my dream, I went home because she passed away. I saw Mommya, in her happy, healthy state – her large size apparent and her curly hair noticeable. She embraced me and told “Palangga kaayo taka” (It means you are very dear to me). I also saw my grandfather and my Papa – all three smiling at me. I woke up drained and had to call my Mom. Before I can even tell about my dream, Mom said that Mommya gave her ring and asked me to wear it on my wedding day in remembrance of her. She told that Mommya mentioned “Palangga kaayo nako si MM” (It means MM is very dear to me). It gave me chills hearing the same with what I heard in my dream. I conversed with Mommya last weekend and whether I like it or not, that was the last. 

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August 2015 – Our last picture together

When I go home, it won’t ever be the same again. At this point I see irony in homecomings. Home is where the family is but the truth is always bitter. Our family members can’t be there forever.

I am longing, I haven’t been home for three years.

I wish it’s that easy to fly. I wish I can just leave my work here and come back normally. I wish I have all the time to stay at home longer and don’t bother about what I’m missing. Life’s like this. I have to compromise one even though both are priorities. It’s sad to think that while you’re longing for an embrace, all you can have is a marble block with the name of your loved ones – you left them healthy, you go back and they’re gone.

I wish I can just change my self and be less motivated and ambitious so I can just settle with the comforts of home. While I build my self, I miss and lost loved ones in the process. While I grow stronger, my heart beats heavier, doubled as it endured multiple pains over the years. I wish I can just choose my circumstances, my people, my time, handpick them and be merry. But no, somehow, life throws something for a greater purpose and will. 

God gives and God takes away. Life happens and so does death. It doesn’t end, it just started the real plight.

Mommya, wherever you are, may your soul rest in peace. You are now home. 



But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.  -Phil 3:20-21


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